What is Neurodivergent Affirming Therapy or Neuro-Affirming Therapy?
Defining what neurodivergent affirming therapy is to me is not only informed by my professional lens, education, and clinical experience - but also by my lived experience. Early on in life, I benefited from significant privilege. Despite my diagnosis of ADHD being “missed” even though I had multiple, lengthy assessments - I was identified as having Dysalculia, a learning disability that affects math and spatial reasoning. This, at least, was identified at a very young age. I was also diagnosed with Auditory Processing Disorder during this time. It is worth noting with the tiniest bit of snark, that both of these diagnoses commonly occur with ADHD and Autism.
I also benefited from early education that was specialized and formatted only for kids with ADHD and learning disabilities. So, despite masking my ADHD well, I learned from these early environments - many skills that helped me “succeed” in my academic and professional life. I learned that I benefited from sitting close to the professor during lecture so that I could see and hear them as I took notes. I knew how to advocate with my math and statistics professors and TA’s with language that described my support needs, and utilized tutoring opportunities and office hours. I applied similar strategies to training in new work settings and again in graduate school and beyond.
The underbelly of the privileged experience of attending a school for neurodivergent kids in the 90’s and early 00’s is that the education and insight I was provided were largely limited to how neurodivergent brains function in academic settings. We weren’t given language to help us understand the way these diagnoses, particularly ADHD, impact emotional regulation, impulse control, and communication. As I look back, there is so much education I wish I had received about my big, beautiful feelings that could have been immensely supportive to have in childhood, and in my teens and early 20’s.
Additionally, 20-25 years ago, professionals seemed more concerned with the idea that kids, teens, and adults be able to function and blend well into the dominant culture of society. While well intentioned and truly working with “what we had at the time” these spaces did a fabulous job at teaching kids to mask, particularly behaviorally.
So, how do these collected lived experiences inform who I am as a neuro-affirming counselor?
Your autonomy is ALWAYS honored first. If you don’t want to discuss something, want to change topics suddenly or unexpectedly, absolutely, let’s do that right now. You are the expert on yourself and your needs, I’m walking alongside you and following your lead. If you have other needs or accommodations that you’d like to address, I’m always open to learning about how to support you best.
We explore and talk about your capacity in a way that honors your inner knowing and lived experiences. We may discuss support needs and shifts that help you survive in capitalism - but capitalism is the problem in this space, not you. Our culture and society possesses deep gaps in accommodating folks with a variety of different support needs.
Intense emotions don’t scare me, and I am not eager to reframe them either. Neurodivergent folks often need a meaningful amount of time to process feelings, and feeling that intensity is often part of “the work” that helps you to feel more grounded.
Sometimes there isn’t anything to be “fixed.” Sometimes you just need someone to hear you, to listen to the experiences and stories you’ve collected in spaces and with people that were uncomfortable, harmful, or downright enraging. With this being said,
Processing of grief isn’t rushed. I know that you’ve probably been let down many times and being believed and supported at your pace is so crucial for your healing and growth.
Very UNtraditional values around appearance and decorum. Band tshirts? Last night’s pajamas? Swearing? I have been known to utilize the “f-word” as if it is an adjective, you are welcome to do so as well. Unlike your grandma’s church, I really do mean - come as you are.
You don’t have to sit still or maintain eye contact. I know that your brain and body may feel more comfortable taking up space when you’re not following traditional “rules” about what being “present” and “polite” looks like. Also, bring ALL of your fidgets, I want to see your favorites.
Self Diagnosis is Valid. I believe and honor the understanding that you have for yourself. I know that you are probably informed by much of your own research, lived experience and that is valid. I also don’t pretend to ignore the barriers to diagnosis that exist - cost, fear of being dismissed, and concerns about documentation to name a few.
Music = a window to your inner world. Sometimes when people around us fail to understand or see us, music can offer us the melodies and lyrics that help us to feel, process, and understand our feelings, thoughts and inner experiences. Therapy doesn’t always have to be a didactic exchange - let’s discuss the latest Noah Kahn lyrics that serve as a landscape for your internal world.
“Pets” = family. For some neurodivergent folks, our animals are literally our family or akin to that. I would never minimize your furry loved one’s love or place in your life. When family or origin or your support are inconsistent, not present, or not able to support or see you fully- animals serve as important members of our found family. I would love to hear about how your animal family members have supported you, helped you grieve, or cultivate joy.
Amethyst Holistic Counseling was shaped largely by my lived experience and genuine desire to create a space for neurodivergent adults that honors all that you are, holistically, authentically, and unapologetically.
Are you ready to take up more space with empowerment and grow and nurture a life that supports you more fully? Please don’t hesitate to email or text to schedule a complimentary phone consultation.
